1)The blatantly obvious: that allegations about me being a well-organized person are completely false.
2)That although I think (or have at some point imagined) that I like and eat the following foods, this is not right:

Snails. Expired 2005. Maybe not that surprising. as I recall they were bought on a very optimistic early morning shopping session while on a booze cruise to Denmark, probably around 2003 some time. Tunafish: the illusion that I like and eat it must run deep, these are only two of three cans uncovered, but the last one still has a couple of years of taking up shelf space before I throw that one out, too. Saving it for a rainy day of course. Pineapple: now that is surprising. I could have sworn that I actually like pineapple except of course not eating it on pizza, which any other sane person would also avoid. Corn: now that is shocking, I was absolutely certain that I eat corn and did so only last week, but not this can for some reason. Interestingly that has moved with me from my last apartment, which makes my misconception all the greater. I thought that 6 kroner can of corn was important enough to lug down from Lillehammer, yet four years later I still haven't eaten it. Wokmix. Fair enough. The picture on the can makes it look like something I would be hard pressed to open except on the rainiest of rainy days, evoking worms crawling across a wet road and indeterminate roots. Brekkbønner. I think this translates as green beens, which is something really do eat all the time (fresh though, not canned), but there is something about the Norwegian name that makes them so utterly unappetizing. It could translate directly as either snap-beans or hurl-beans, and of course the latter is stuck in my mind - although I suppose the former is the one meant by whoever named them to begin with. Fried Bean Curd. Well the tin looks interesting and exotic and contributes to my self image as an adventurous cook and ditto eater with eclectic tastes, but let's face it: when I haven't eaten it in the last seven years (sell-by date 2002) I am certainly not going to do so in the future. Pears: That is really sad, they have been taking up space in my cupboard for years and years and they would probably have been just lovely with whipped cream, but alas, that was two years ago. I'd better not even go there.
It all adds up to one big note to self: do not buy and carry home cans of stuff you aren't going to cook and eat.
Which leads me to my third conclusion
3)I really don't cook often enough. I eat, sure, all the time, but I don't cook much. When I do cook, it's mostly pork chops, meat balls at a stretch. It just seems wrong. A person more than 30 years away from her retirement age basically subsisting on pork chops and meat balls? Peculiar, and just not right.
There was one lucky find among the antiquities: a can of fish balls, best before
october 28th this year. I love fish balls! LOVE THEM! Yet apparently
have not had them once in the three years I've been living here. So
that one lucky can is now residing on my square foot of kitchen
counter, ready to fulfil its destiny and become my dinner some time the
coming week.